Managing Up When Your Manager Is the Problem
A difficult manager is one of the most common career challenges. Here's how to diagnose and navigate it.
First: Categorize the Problem
Bad managers fall into recognizable patterns:- The Micromanager: Doesn't trust you, needs to approve everything
- The Ghost: Never available, provides no direction or support
- The Credit-Taker: Claims your work, blocks your visibility
- The Bully: Uses fear, publicly criticizes, plays favorites
Each requires a different response.
Second: Document Everything
Before taking action, start keeping records:- Decisions made and their outcomes
- Commitments your manager makes (and breaks)
- Your contributions and their impact
This protects you and clarifies your thinking.
Third: Attempt the Direct Approach
Many bad managers don't know they're bad managers. One honest conversation might change things. Frame it as: "I want to do great work here. Can we talk about how to make that easier?"
Fourth: Build Alternatives
If direct approaches fail, your options are:- Find a new role internally (bypass the manager)
- Wait out your manager (they might leave first)
- Leave the organization entirely
Don't wait indefinitely. Set a timeline.
What This Looks Like in Practice
The Scenario: James, a Director of Engineering at a consumer tech company, was burning out. His team of 40 had grown without the corresponding support structure, and he was firefighting constantly. He loved the mission but dreaded Monday mornings.
What He Did: Before making any career moves, James separated the signal from the noise:
- He mapped out which of his frustrations were fixable (team structure, processes) versus fundamental (company culture, leadership support)
- He took a week of PTO to get some distance and perspective
- He had a frank conversation with his VP about what would need to change for him to stay engaged
The Outcome: The conversation went better than expected. His VP hadn't realized how stretched James was and immediately approved two new manager hires. But the conversation also revealed a fundamental truth: the company's growth pace wasn't going to slow down. James would need to decide if he wanted to be on that ride.
He chose to stay, but with new boundaries and a clearer picture of what he was signing up for. A year later, he's still there—challenged but not drowning.
The Lesson: Sometimes the answer isn't leave or stay—it's renegotiate the terms of staying.
---
What You'll Walk Away With
Our structured session produces concrete artifacts, not just conversation.
Decision Snapshot A clear-eyed assessment of your current situation—what's true, what's not, and what actually matters for your decision.
Fork Recommendation A specific direction (stay, go, or pivot) with the reasoning behind it, so you understand not just what to do but why.
Risk Map Everything that could go wrong with your chosen path, and how to mitigate each risk before it materializes.
Conversation Scripts Exact language for the hard conversations you need to have—with your boss, your partner, recruiters, or anyone else.
14-Day Action Plan The specific steps to take immediately after our session, so momentum doesn't stall.
30-Day Roadmap The longer-term plan for executing your decision, with milestones and check-in points.
These aren't templates—they're customized to your specific situation, role, and constraints.
---
Ready for Personalized Guidance?
Every situation is different. If you want help thinking through yours—with someone who's seen hundreds of similar cases—consider working with a coach.
What you get:- A structured conversation to clarify your situation
- Frameworks tailored to your specific circumstances
- Scripts you can actually use
- A clear action plan