Recognizing and Responding to Toxic Culture
Toxic culture is harder to address than a bad manager because it's systemic. Here's how to assess your situation.
The Culture Red Flags
Trust your instincts if you see:- Blame flows down, credit flows up
- People are afraid to speak honestly
- High performers leave, politicians stay
- Rules apply differently to different people
- "That's just how things work here" is a common refrain
The Individual vs. Systemic Test
Can you point to specific individuals causing the toxicity, or is it everywhere? If it's specific people, you might outlast them. If it's systemic, the culture won't change until leadership changes.
Your Three Options
- Adapt and Survive: Build a protective bubble. Keep your head down, do good work, maintain your network outside the company. This is sustainable short-term.
- Fight from Within: Only if you have significant political capital and allies. Most internal reformers burn out or get pushed out.
- Strategic Exit: The most common right answer. But do it on your terms, not in a moment of frustration.
The Health Check
If you're having physical symptoms (sleep problems, anxiety, dread), your timeline just shortened. No job is worth your health.
What This Looks Like in Practice
The Scenario: Marcus, a Director of Product at a mid-size SaaS company, was passed over for VP despite delivering strong results. His manager's feedback was vague: "You're not quite ready." He was torn between pushing harder, looking elsewhere, or accepting that maybe he wasn't VP material.
What He Did: Instead of spiraling, Marcus got specific:
- He asked for concrete examples of what "VP-ready" looked like at his company
- He talked to three people who had been promoted to VP recently—inside and outside his company
- He assessed honestly whether the gap was real or political
The Outcome: The diagnosis revealed two things. First, his company had a pattern of promoting people who were highly visible to the CEO—which Marcus wasn't. Second, the specific feedback about "strategic thinking" was valid but actionable.
Marcus decided to address the skill gap while also broadening his external options. He found a VP role at a smaller company within six months, where his operational strengths were valued more than political visibility.
The Lesson: "You're not ready" is rarely the full story. Dig deeper to find out what's actually being said—and whether it's worth addressing there or somewhere else.
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What You'll Walk Away With
Our structured session produces concrete artifacts, not just conversation.
Decision Snapshot A clear-eyed assessment of your current situation—what's true, what's not, and what actually matters for your decision.
Fork Recommendation A specific direction (stay, go, or pivot) with the reasoning behind it, so you understand not just what to do but why.
Risk Map Everything that could go wrong with your chosen path, and how to mitigate each risk before it materializes.
Conversation Scripts Exact language for the hard conversations you need to have—with your boss, your partner, recruiters, or anyone else.
14-Day Action Plan The specific steps to take immediately after our session, so momentum doesn't stall.
30-Day Roadmap The longer-term plan for executing your decision, with milestones and check-in points.
These aren't templates—they're customized to your specific situation, role, and constraints.
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Ready for Personalized Guidance?
Every situation is different. If you want help thinking through yours—with someone who's seen hundreds of similar cases—consider working with a coach.
What you get:- A structured conversation to clarify your situation
- Frameworks tailored to your specific circumstances
- Scripts you can actually use
- A clear action plan